Wednesday, November 30, 2011


This popped up on the sidebar of facebook:
My 1st question, of course, was: "Whatthefuck?" 
My 2nd question was "What the hell did I post on my wall that made Facebook want to put a giant green ovary on my page!

Then I did what "they" wanted me to do....I clicked on the link.  (I had to know!)
It's a freaking CAT BED!!!!!

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  First of all...that is an  ugly-ass cat!  Secondly, Who was the advertising GENIUS that couldn't find a better cat at the shelter? 

I'm intrigued, nonetheless.  I kinda want one.  
I would put this guy in it:
I'm too sexy for my fur!

Monday, November 28, 2011

I will call this one, "The Christmas Wish List"

So there is really only one thing that I want this year for Christmas (and for my stupid too-close-to Christmas Birthday)...I just want gift certificates for a spalon near me.  (No, that is not a typo.  Its not just a spa and not just a is a spalon!)  

If I don't get enough gift certificates, I will cash them in for a massage...if I get enough, I think I will order from the "FDA-Approved, Doctor Administered Treatment" menu. <wink>

Don't judge me!  I've had a lot of shitty shit happen to me in the last couple-a years and its starting to catch up to me...on my face.  Specifically my eyes.  All of a sudden and without any warning, when I smile, there are these lines that go all the way to my navel!  Last week, I went to the eye doctor and they had the gall to tell me that I need bifocals!  (I promptly told Doctor know-it-all to go fuck herself, thankyouverymuch!)

Anyway...where was I going with this.....

Oh yeah...THE HUSBAND is a gift card hypocrite!  He HATES to give them as gifts, but enjoys getting them!  When I ask for one, he gets all kinds of pissy with me.  This year he is making me come up with a Christmas list.

Don't ask me to do something that you know I don't want to do.  It almost always comes out like this:

Shutthefuckup!  Its only $5.44!  Get me two!


If I can spot your fart, you're totally doing it wrong

Would you believe that this only got 4 1/2 stars?

"The Art of the Fart....or How the Fart Fetish Began"

 Again, I really think that if I can SPOT your fart, that you just might be doing it wrong!

The moral of this story is this:  Farts are funny, dammit!  And don't make me put shit on a list when I know what I want!

I showed THE HUSBAND my list and he was not amused.

THE HUSBAND:  You're not really giving this list to anyone, right?

Me:  (all kinds of innocent...)  You told me to make a list!

HUBS:  You really want this stuff?  Farts?  What are you, a 12 year old boy?

Me:  Hey, you told me to make a list!  I made a list!

HUBS:  You're giving this list to my parents!  They are going to think you want this stuff!

We have now decided that I will just recommend the spalon gift card for anyone who wants to get me anything....

Gee...why didn't I think of that?

Interested in Fart Gifts? You can find them here!  Enjoy! 


I'm curious if this will FINALLY answer the question we've been dying to know 

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Some assembly required?

I dont know what this is, and I don't know if I wanna put that much effort in my wine...heck, I don't even like to have to uncork...but it fascinates me

On a related note...can I get a refill?